Take a Deep Breathe. Now Jump.
For days I have thought about this. Today during my time of meditation the sentence, Now jump continued. The complete thought was, Now jump into this life without fear. Followed by the knowledge that fear is a constraint that binds me to a predictable path. A life governed by fear is a life of wasted potential. The opportunity to meet new people, try new things, broaden my perspective, and live a larger life are all snuffed out when governed by it. Recognizing areas of my life in which fear had taken hold, longing for more adventurous experiences and having a desire to see what was happening just around life's corner, I decided to reboot my operating system.
Gone were the days of worrying about the future, and seeking validation for my actions. Giving serious consideration to everything I would do or say based upon how it would be viewed or if it would be accepted by others. Mind-boggling as it may seem to you, I lived that way. I poured myself into a human mold, conforming to societal norms, and externalizing my power.
At first, I didn't mind the fit
There was something safe about the confines of the mold, knowing the rules of the game and having a scripted outcome (or the appearance thereof). I embraced the well-worn path of social acceptability; created by those who set the rules and skillfully deliver mass programming through education, media, social influence and the like. A path trod by many others before me. All of us asleep at the wheel of our lives. On some level, I prided myself on my complete embodiment of the mold. I was a master of conformity. I had the enviable life; the education, the job, all the stuff and the means to acquire more. But, I wasn't happy with those superficial things. Thankfully, my husband was supportive of me and my desire to make changes in my life. I knew I wasn't being my authentic self, but I wasn't even sure what I wanted or how to get to it. By societies standards I was doing all the right things, yet the question I kept asking myself was, why don't I feel like I belong? None of the usual distractions worked anymore.
Honestly, that was the best thing that could have happened to me because I became curious about life on a more meaningful level. Really interested. And the act of shifting my focus completely changed my world.
I've always been a person that asks a lot of questions. My family can attest to that fact! What I consider a conversation, from their perspective is akin to an interrogation or examination of a specimen under a microscope. No ill intent on my part, but certainly not an enjoyable experience for all parties involved in these conversations. What I have come to understand is that questioning is a beautiful gift, depending on how it's used. How we choose to use this tool carries energetic purpose, whether wielding it with the force of a massive hammer or (better yet) gently and with great compassion.
Curiosity and questions that come from the place of compassion, wisdom, and love are incredible. In truth, they cut through the walls we as human beings build around ourselves. It is from this energetic perspective that I began to question life. My life. As a starting point, I gave myself permission to ask questions about everything - no sacred cows. And I spoke to everyone; instead of limiting myself to those that shared my opinions and judging those that didn't view the world the way I did. Getting rid of old ways of thinking and the expectations I heaped upon myself to live up to some fantasy was a liberating experience.
A New Approach
As a result, I began to think differently, understanding my thoughts and words have creative power, that they are the vehicle to build my world. I took greater care to cultivate a life of purpose, and with that intentional act, once again everything changed. That internal work transformed my external world as evidenced by better choices in lifestyle, diet, and interactions with other people. Realizing that as I take ownership of and apply the new things I learn, my world will continue to evolve. Now I welcome life with all of its changes instead of fearing it. I find more insight is given to me as a result, and as I receive more I release more good into the world - more love, peace, positivity, and hope into the lives of other people.
I happily engage in this transformation, daily, knowing that as I change the world truly does change. In setting new intentions to question, to be more inclusive and less judgmental of others, and to appreciate someone else's journey I've come full circle in my understanding of self. I am more willing to go with the flow, like water - up and over, around, or through - approaching this life with fluidity. I reroute more often, and happily go to new places. Being fearless has been the best thing for me. I hope we meet on this journey.
Take a deep breath. Now jump.
Always the best,