Letting Go of Negative Thoughts
For the past few days, I pondered how best to conclude the drama-free living series.
Prelude - The Path is Diverging
Part 1 - A Drama Free Life
Part 2 - Relationship Drama
I knew I want to discuss how opportunities come in many different packages, but I wasn't 100% sure in what way I was going to approach it. This morning the perfect final chapter presented itself.
The goal is to learn from and let go of the negatives
I was in the in-between place this morning, not quite asleep or awake when a thought came into my mind. It was both negative and scary. And, I wasn't entirely sure what to do with it. My first inclination was to replace it with a happier thought, permanently burying it. But after a few moments, during which time I could feel my anxiety building, instead, I decided to lean in.
We all know thoughts randomly drift in, as clouds do, momentarily blocking the sun before they eventually pass on. This one, however, was different because of how I responded to it. Fearfully. Anything that elicits anxiety and fear (or any strong emotional) response is worth a moment of my time.
Upon examination, the thing that shook me was the lack of power that thought conveyed at that moment. It was if I were a child, dependent upon a parent that cared nothing for my wellbeing. It sucked, and I wanted to know if that feeling of powerlessness was present somewhere in my waking life. The answer was yes, sort of.
I've chosen to make some incredible changes in my life. But, if I'm honest, some days I feel very vulnerable. I'm rewriting my story without a blueprint to follow, and I'm far from the "safety" of the pack traveling the well-worn path. That's not a bad thing since the idea of blending in with everyone else doesn't appeal to me. It is, however, different from any other experience I've had before and sometimes when I think about it, it can be a little scary.
Although I didn't realize it until this morning, I've been misinterpreting vulnerability as powerlessness. I'm thankful for the opportunity to explore it further, to rightly define the concepts of power and control in my life, and grow as a result. This path and my journey on it is eye-opening, humbling, and amazing all at the same time! In some respects, it's what I thought it would be, but at the same time (in moments like these), it's nothing like I imagined.
Drama appears in many forms
Sometimes the source of tension is external, but not always. Today, the catalyst was internal. I'm happy to have taken the time to sit with my thoughts. Even the ugly, scary, harsh thoughts we have can reveal essential truths. This time around they yielded useful insights and exposed some misconceptions. I was also able to reaffirm the positive changes that have occurred in my life as a result of making bold choices. And frankly, although I envisioned a child whose future is in the hands of another, nothing could be further from reality.
Had I chosen to ignore or bury that thought this morning, the truth is it would have stayed with me, somewhere in the back of my mind, and I would've missed the opportunity to learn and grow in that instance.
Don't Avoid The Lesson in The Negative
If you're experiencing an emotional response to something, before you let it go, examined it. Learn from it. The point of living drama-free is to be at peace. To push past artificial authenticity, the state of duality (smiling on the outside and avoiding the tough emotions on the inside), in favor of self-discovery.
Looking deep inside to understand you, and to apply the knowledge you gain to continue making progress doesn't have to be a long, drawn-out process. When you're ready to do the work the opportunities appear, and sometimes when they show up, if you seize upon them you can unravel the mysteries more easily.
Let's take advantage of all the opportunities on this road. Resist the urge to live superficially. Dive deep as Ralph Smart would say. Enjoy the whole journey!
Always the best,