LETTING GO SERIES: Break Up With These 3 Things To Live Life TO THE MAX
There's a lot to unpack when we talk about letting go - drama, relationships, anger, self-doubt. A lot! In this series, we shed light on the challenges and how-to's to break up with the stuff that tries to hold you back. Today, we touch on the BIG 3 that can prevent you from enjoying your life to the fullest.
"God placed the best things in life on the other side of fear.” - Will Smith
1. Fear of Failure
Fear is an illusion. You've heard that before, but it's worth repeating because it's 10000% true. IMO, this is perhaps the number one roadblock to fulfilling your dreams.It's possible to control the influence fear has over you, if you're ready to let go, to ditch the baggage that hinders you. There are three things you need to do to overcome your fear of failure.
FIRST, SPEND A LITTLE TIME WITH YOUR FEARS
What? Wait. I thought we were breaking up?! Yes, but you want (need) to understand, precisely, what you're afraid will happen if you pursue your dreams. Do your fears stem from a desire to please others, a lack of self-confidence, feeling unworthy, uncertainty about the future, unhealthy comparisons? Discover the origin point of your fear of failure story. You're going to need that intel to face your enemy, the thing that is standing in between you and the world you want to create. Once you know what is driving your fear, you can apply the knowledge you gain from sitting with it to counteract those false beliefs and ideas. This is step one of how you break the power that the fear of failure has over you.
SECOND, YOU HAVE TO PAY ATTENTION TO THE CHATTER OF YOUR MIND
An important part of what makes us human is that we're thinkers. But that doesn't mean our thoughts are always productive. Thoughts can torment people that live with a lot of fears, especially of failure. I know. I suffered from that affliction, and I had to learn to take charge of my thoughts. Ideas are nothing more than seeds; you can grow flowers or weeds. When fear is raging, it's an indication that you've been sowing and watering weeds. You may not realize it because the chatter is like a program running in the background. It takes a bit of time to recognize the negative self-talk, but when you do, at that very moment tell yourself what is real and true. That you are on course for something beautiful to take place, what you desire is for you, and so on. The fears you've identified in step one will try to replay themselves, but you can retrain your mind away from a pessimistic and self-defeating mindset.
THIRD, DO THE EXACT OPPOSITE TO WHAT IRRATIONAL FEAR IS TELLING YOU
On the other side of fear - the ultimate illusion - is everything you want. Fear tries to suppress your desires. You know this because each time you listen to it (fear/worry/doubt) you're left with a deep dissatisfaction. To achieve a different outcome in your life will require you to level-up. Push through the uncertainty and fear of failure. The alternative is to relinquish your dream or continue to straddle the fence in a state of emotional limbo (which is another form of torture). But before you give up on your heartfelt desires, know that when fear manifests, it's actually a great sign! It's an indication that what you want is profoundly important to you. On a subconscious level you know what you desire is real, the path is presenting itself to you, what you want is waiting for you, and you can have it. You only need to tap into the beauty of what you want, to focus your attention there. When you gain control of your thoughts, your actions will align themselves as well.
2. Comparison to Others Can Steal Your Joy and Kill Your Dreams
Gauging yourself against anyone, other than yourself, is a waste of energy. That's especially important to remember in the age that we live, where social media is the ultimate form of keeping up with the Jones. People are doing their best to show the highlight reel of their lives. Doctored images, props and intriguing catchphrases are employed; all in an attempt to create a moment of perfection. That's all well and good as long as we're not using others as a measuring stick of fulfillment, attainment or success, and happiness. Who you are is magical, and the world is hungry, not for copycats, but for authentic people like you.
Dr. Seuss said it best, “Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”
3. Let Go of Who You Think You Should Be or The Person Others want You to Be
Your journey is unscripted. What I mean by that is that no one (and I mean no one) has the answers for your life, except YOU! There are beautiful signs along the way that will provide encouragement and guidance as to what to do, but not a predetermined road map. Your life, mine, everyone's is meant to be explored, like Galileo searching the stars or Lewis & Clark in the uncharted territory of the western United States. As you walk your road, you gain experience, pick up insights about yourself, learn what your inner voice sounds like and that you can trust it to make decisions. That is how you develop your unique road map. In previous generations, people would seek out teachers, spiritual leaders, anyone in a position of authority to show them 'the way.' That model of living has become obsolete for a lot of people. It likely has for you. An indication of that is if you respond to quotes and inspirational messages about authenticity, you have what it takes, that you are enough, and the world needs to hear from you. These are the gentle nudges.
I remember when I started becoming restless with the status quo. I had created a very nice life for myself, but I lacked a sense of fulfillment. I'd get the gentle nudges that came in waves. It was both scary and exhilarating! For my story about fear and how I broke up with it click here.
At first, the waves come gently to remind you of the dreams that are dormant inside. But in time they're more intense; insistently crashing against the shore of your consciousness. The Authentic You wants to get your attention. You'll begin to ask yourself questions like, What's my purpose?; Why am I here? You will find yourself following what feels right to you and instead of checking in with other, asking yourself, am I on the right track? Congratulations, you're ditching what should be, in favor of responding to the call of your authentic self! "In a world that profits from our self-doubt, loving yourself is the biggest act of rebellion." -Unknown
Tune out the voices, images, and the expectation of others. Transform the fear of failure into victorious thinking. Learn what makes you happy - not parents, friend or even what you think you're 'supposed to do.' If you decide to do so, followed by conscious effort each day, you will create a life that is rich, meaningful and authentic. Let go to ensure that you live life to the fullest.
Live your life TO THE MAX! Be. Go. Do amazing stuff! That's why you're here.
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Always the best,